back to basic bitches: candice confesses

[candice]

i love my allies so much. so much. i genuinely trust and enjoy these people and they make me so happy and it's gonna suck when i have to cut them off.

[candice]

i feel like soon i'm going to have to win a comp every round to avoid eviction and it makes me nervous because I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON, this game is literally the first one i've won individual comps through my own effort in since i started playing orgs again

[Kat]

Omg you remind me of Chris Crocker in that video lol

Donkey f--ked

haha the end was cute

[candice]

how hard is it to find time over a 24 hour period to vote or do a competition

that being said holy fuck greg came way too close to winning HoH.

oh i made another video confessional and forgot to post it

[candice]

[candice]

so jumping off that video

i'm torn on whether or not i buy calum's story and at the end of the day i feel like it's bullshit. i don't want to completely dismiss it, but as shaky as i feel about casey and i long term, i feel rock solid with skye.

then again, i felt rock solid about mary in good & evil 7, and she blindsided me at f7.

sooooo i don't know. logic says skye at the very least wouldn't come for me at f9 knowing that she becomes a major target without me. casey could stand to lose me; he's playing every angle with every person right now, and our alliance has a lot of control altogether. he can take me out while still seeming to fly under the radar.

logic also says that, if trustworthy, calum would have told me about my name coming up long before a HoH comp that he isn't eligible for instead of waiting until after an eviction that didn't work out in his favor.

which btw if you want to make a big move, and you tell everyone you want to make a big move, then don't make a big move and nominate someone you want to stick around? what a waste of an HoH, just nominate people you want to nominate point blank, jfc

[candice]

tldr: i'm going fucking bonkers paranoid

most uncertain move of the day goes to confiding in boog on all of this. i still feel like she's solidly with casey and i run the risk of her going to him with all of this info. but, she helped me keep a clear head, and i feel like i can trust her if only because by confiding in her about this, i made an overt declaration of trust to her, and she would be a fool to risk ruining that this early when i have a comp beast reputation (somehow) and i'm still a really nice shield.

[candice]

okay so i haven't had the time to write a full confessional but

i feel like a tool for ever doubting skye, we had a rly deep convo on saturday and i told her about what calum said and i just. i feel so genuinely close with her and i would be happy to take her to f2 whether i win or not. she seems to feel the same. if she's playing me then i don't know how i'll be able to deal with that, like, y'all saw how depressed i got over the possibility of it being the case, but i really, really don't think she is.

[candice]

lol calum. you can't just sit there waiting for people to talk game with you, especially if you aren't an incredibly social player. this game may have been boring for you, but for me, it was anything but.

i want to post that in the eviction thread but i also want his jury vote

(btw sorry for taking so long to vote, i only had a tiny window to be around yesterday and i was working this morning)

[shir]

No worries! The bootlist is just in case!

[candice]

FUCK I DIDN'T WANT THIS ONE

WHY DIDN'T I JUST THROW

[candice]

okay realistically if i threw i'd be leaving this week, considering greg would be putting me up 100% and i can never guarantee a veto win, but. FUCK. this means i probably have to put up russell which i do not want to do and bluuuuuuuh

part of me is thinking, hey, candice, make a big move, you can do that now. but greg is a big challenge threat, he's definitely after me, so i can't really afford to make a big move like that right now unless veto forces my hand.

i want to put up joey because wtf, girl isn't doing comps, but i don't want to risk her blowing up my and skye's games before we have to slit any throats.

[candice]

and now i'm just second-guessing everything again, hooray

[candice]

greg is FURIOUS with me and telling me that he isn't coming after me and i wish i had just not won this challenge at all

[candice]

i panicked in the heat of it, knew how dumb i would look if i told greg that the only person to tell me he was targeting me was calum, so i told him russell said it too because he told me he mentioned it to russell... which totally backfired, greg started ripping into russell, russell's even more upset with me, i just

i hate these games sometimes, so much, and i forgot how much it sucks to do things that piss other people off

i can't help but think that maybe i was right and maybe i need to just stop playing orgs altogether if they make me feel like this.